“As I get older”

I wonder about the other
young-blooming, insecure
artists, who also got older.
Some of them did this too;
Change.
Some of them did not,
though.
I wonder about those.

Was it weakness?
Did they lack the vision?
Was it fear? Depression?
Simply no maturation?
Was the money too good;
The house too warm?
Or were they
just that good—
to begin with;
From the start?

I think I’d like to be twenty again;
The age I was when I first
discovered my style.
But I do not wish to be twenty,
just so I could push paint again,
as though I were twenty. No.
I can still do that today— and more.

I’d wish to be twenty again,
just so that I could hunt
all the sweet, twig-legged
twenty-something girls—
and invite some to bed with me.
I think, maybe then, I could
leave behind my tendencies
toward my old style.
That’s all, Picasso.

narrative poem written on 04-05-2011 by: on mattkane.com
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