“BY NOW”

Who would I be by now
if I'd been myself
all along?
Who would I be by now
if I hadn't tried
so hard to be
everybody else?
Who would I be by now
if I'd only learned
to love myself?

Who would I be?
Would I be somebody
you might admire?
Would I be
potentially
somebody
you could desire?

Who would I be by now
or would I have
become myself anyhow?

Who would I be
if I hadn't loved somebody
so hopelessly?
Who would I be
if lust wasn't always met
so eagerly?
Who would I be
if I'd only said something
when I felt everything?

Who would I be by now?
Who should I be?

And who would you be,
my dear, if you
had never met me?
And just let me be.
Nothing it seems.
Nothing helps me be me.

narrative poem written on 08-30-2016 by: on mattkane.com
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